Sometimes these taxi stories are sweet, sometimes they’re ordinary, sometimes annoying, and sometimes they just make you cringe. This was a cringer.
Picked up a guy at this lottery and video poker place by Mall 205. He clearly had a buzz working, was big and loud, and immediately announced, “Dude, I just won about 500 bucks in there!” We headed for the address he gave me, a McDonalds a couple miles away, with me wondering why a guy with 500 unexpected dollars in his pocket wasn’t at least going for better food.
Then he took a phone call, and this was his end of it:
“Yeah, we’re good. I’m in a taxi right now. And it’s right across from the McDonald’s right? What was that? Yeah, the Motel 6 … across from McDonald’s. Right. And you sure they have a room? You gave ‘em your name, right? ‘Cause sometimes they won’t let me stay there. Huh? Okay, right, that’s cool. I’ll get us something to eat and meet you there.”
Then he hung up, shook his head, and said, really loud, “Fuck, man, she’s got some kinda like Russian accent or something – that shit makes me fuckin’ crazy! You know what I mean? Those East European girls are so fuckin’ smokin’. I love all them accents. One time I had this Mexican girlfriend, and she got mad at me and cussed me out in Spanish, and I don’t know what all she was callin’ me, but anyway, the whole time I was just thinkin’, ‘This is so fuckin’ hot right now!’ ”
I dropped him at McDonald’s, he tipped me $1, and I said a little prayer that things would be okay for the Russian girl.