The only thing I remember from my first 12-step meeting is a feeling. Before the meeting, I was scared, confused, embarrassed, and depressed. But in the meeting, I felt that I was in the right place. There really was no thought associated with it, other than “These people are like me, and they are sober,…

Even before I got into recovery, I always had a serious aversion to taking pills. I can’t say exactly what it was about, considering all the other toxic crap I put into my system. All I know is that pills, along with needles and anything that went up my nose, always freaked me out –…

Every now and then I get tired of 12 Step World. It might be depression getting to me, or laziness, or more often I start putting personalities ahead of principles. “I don’t want to go to that meeting, because I’m tired of those people.” A good way to stop going to meetings for a while,…

I’ve been reading this book called The Spirituality of Imperfection, and after a long, mildly annoying Part 1, it immediately gave me a great insight at the start of Part 2. (Recovery lesson: don’t quit before the miracle!) The insight came in the form of an analogy, which I will paraphrase and re-state here: A…

Higher Power, … Grant me honesty, courage, humility, and serenity, to face that which keeps me from you and others. — Life With Hope, p. 13 I once spent hours going through this prayer with my sponsor. What strikes me about it is that we don’t ask our Higher Power to keep us sober, or…

Most of us in recovery have heard about The Committee. It’s the constant stream of voices running in our head, giving us advice and shit and maybe, on occasion, encouragement. Most people focus on the negative aspect, like how the Committee tells us we’re fools or we’re ugly or whatever. In fact, a lot of…

When I started smoking pot as a teenager, I was looking for fun, adventure, and a sense of belonging. But now, looking back, I realize I was also looking for escape, and to “check out” from the discomfort of living. And why was I so uncomfortable? Well, for one thing I was a teenager! But…

I think one of the wisest things a sponsor told me was wen I asked him what my recovery should look like after about 10 years sober and two trips through the Steps. “Just keep facing your fears and moving through them,” is what he said. So simple, so hard, so … helpful. Right now…

In recovery, we can’t afford to keep playing the victim. When it comes to family issues, this means facing our stuff, accepting it, and healing it.

The topic at my meditation meeting this week was peace, and while sitting, it came to me that my idea of peace has changed over the years. When I was getting high all the time, my idea of “peace” was to obliterate everything going on in my head. I thought — to the extent that…