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Spiritual Seeker

I’m also a sober guy trying to make sense of the world. Click below for random observations on spirituality and recovery.

Me and My Skeptic

  • Paul Gerald
  • October 12, 2014
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The only thing I remember from my first 12-step meeting is a feeling. Before the meeting, I was scared, confused, embarrassed, and depressed. But in the meeting, I felt that I was in the right place. There really was no thought associated with it, other than “These people are like me, and they are sober,…

Recovery Share: When Pills Really are the Answer

  • Paul Gerald
  • September 21, 2014
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Even before I got into recovery, I always had a serious aversion to taking pills. I can’t say exactly what it was about, considering all the other toxic crap I put into my system. All I know is that pills, along with needles and anything that went up my nose, always freaked me out –…

(Re)Finding Recovery on the Road

  • Paul Gerald
  • June 23, 2014
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Every now and then I get tired of 12 Step World. It might be depression getting to me, or laziness, or more often I start putting personalities ahead of principles. “I don’t want to go to that meeting, because I’m tired of those people.” A good way to stop going to meetings for a while,…

Recovery Share: Getting a Better Map

  • Paul Gerald
  • May 28, 2014
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I’ve been reading this book called The Spirituality of Imperfection, and after a long, mildly annoying Part 1, it immediately gave me a great insight at the start of Part 2. (Recovery lesson: don’t quit before the miracle!) The insight came in the form of an analogy, which I will paraphrase and re-state here: A…

A Step 3 Prayer

  • Paul Gerald
  • May 20, 2014
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Higher Power, … Grant me honesty, courage, humility, and serenity, to face that which keeps me from you and others. — Life With Hope, p. 13 I once spent hours going through this prayer with my sponsor. What strikes me about it is that we don’t ask our Higher Power to keep us sober, or…

Recovery Share: On Obsessive Thoughts and “Spinning Wheels”

  • Paul Gerald
  • February 26, 2014
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Most of us in recovery have heard about The Committee. It’s the constant stream of voices running in our head, giving us advice and shit and maybe, on occasion, encouragement. Most people focus on the negative aspect, like how the Committee tells us we’re fools or we’re ugly or whatever. In fact, a lot of…

Recovery Share: Facing Fears

  • Paul Gerald
  • January 26, 2014
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I think one of the wisest things a sponsor told me was wen I asked him what my recovery should look like after about 10 years sober and two trips through the Steps. “Just keep facing your fears and moving through them,” is what he said. So simple, so hard, so … helpful. Right now…

Recovery Share: A Few Thoughts on Peace

  • Paul Gerald
  • December 4, 2013
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The topic at my meditation meeting this week was peace, and while sitting, it came to me that my idea of peace has changed over the years. When I was getting high all the time, my idea of “peace” was to obliterate everything going on in my head. I thought — to the extent that…