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Spiritual Seeker

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Feb 26, 2014

Recovery Share: On Obsessive Thoughts and “Spinning Wheels”

Most of us in recovery have heard about The Committee. It’s the constant stream of voices running in our head, giving us advice and shit and maybe, on occasion, encouragement. Most people focus on the negative aspect, like how the Committee tells us we’re fools or we’re ugly or whatever. In fact, a lot of […]

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Steigerwald Lake National Wildlife Refuge in the Columbia River Gorge
Feb 02, 2014

Recovery Share: On Deserving Happiness

When I started smoking pot as a teenager, I was looking for fun, adventure, and a sense of belonging. But now, looking back, I realize I was also looking for escape, and to “check out” from the discomfort of living. And why was I so uncomfortable? Well, for one thing I was a teenager! But […]

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Jan 26, 2014

Recovery Share: Facing Fears

I think one of the wisest things a sponsor told me was wen I asked him what my recovery should look like after about 10 years sober and two trips through the Steps. “Just keep facing your fears and moving through them,” is what he said. So simple, so hard, so … helpful. Right now […]

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"Come what may ..."
Dec 04, 2013

Recovery Share: A Few Thoughts on Peace

The topic at my meditation meeting this week was peace, and while sitting, it came to me that my idea of peace has changed over the years. When I was getting high all the time, my idea of “peace” was to obliterate everything going on in my head. I thought — to the extent that […]

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recovery share - expectations, resentments, and misery
Nov 26, 2013

Recovery Share: On Expectations, Resentments, and Misery

Once a week, I go a meditation meeting, and lately I’ve been the secretary, which means I’m supposed to come up with a topic on recovery to share. Of course, I tell myself I will dig through my books to find a spiritual  nugget so profound that people follow me around after the meeting. And […]

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Sep 13, 2013

Recovery Share: Talking Things Over With My Inner Disapproving Elder

I had a conversation the other day with one of my business consultants about an idea I have. Doesn’t matter much what it was, but her response—before I could even get the whole idea out there—was to say “Oh, don’t do that.” It’s not the first time somebody said that to me, of course. And […]

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recovery share: gratitude
Sep 04, 2013

Recovery Share: Gratitude for My “Problems”

There’s this thing I used to hear when I first came to meetings, a thing that really used to piss me off: I’m so grateful to be an addict. Every time I heard that, I wanted to go over and punch whatever screwhead said it. Fuck you, I’d think. You’re grateful to be an addict? You’re […]

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