Most of us in recovery have heard about The Committee. It’s the constant stream of voices running in our head, giving us advice and shit and maybe, on occasion, encouragement. Most people focus on the negative aspect, like how the Committee tells us we’re fools or we’re ugly or whatever. In fact, a lot of […]
When I started smoking pot as a teenager, I was looking for fun, adventure, and a sense of belonging. But now, looking back, I realize I was also looking for escape, and to “check out” from the discomfort of living. And why was I so uncomfortable? Well, for one thing I was a teenager! But […]
I think one of the wisest things a sponsor told me was wen I asked him what my recovery should look like after about 10 years sober and two trips through the Steps. “Just keep facing your fears and moving through them,” is what he said. So simple, so hard, so … helpful. Right now […]
In recovery, we can’t afford to keep playing the victim. When it comes to family issues, this means facing our stuff, accepting it, and healing it.
The topic at my meditation meeting this week was peace, and while sitting, it came to me that my idea of peace has changed over the years. When I was getting high all the time, my idea of “peace” was to obliterate everything going on in my head. I thought — to the extent that […]
Once a week, I go a meditation meeting, and lately I’ve been the secretary, which means I’m supposed to come up with a topic on recovery to share. Of course, I tell myself I will dig through my books to find a spiritual nugget so profound that people follow me around after the meeting. And […]
I had a conversation the other day with one of my business consultants about an idea I have. Doesn’t matter much what it was, but her response—before I could even get the whole idea out there—was to say “Oh, don’t do that.” It’s not the first time somebody said that to me, of course. And […]
There’s this thing I used to hear when I first came to meetings, a thing that really used to piss me off: I’m so grateful to be an addict. Every time I heard that, I wanted to go over and punch whatever screwhead said it. Fuck you, I’d think. You’re grateful to be an addict? You’re […]
What is the attraction of other people’s stuff? I get it into my head, taking their inventory and reaching grand and mighty decisions about their character and life path. I seek it out in my professional life, saying yes to all their projects, and their timelines, leading me away from my stuff. I worry so […]
ere’s a moment I have found put myself into a lot recently: “Why am I doing this thing I’m doing? I really need to be doing something else. I’m wasting my time, getting distracted, spending money I don’t have, working on somebody else’s stuff instead of my own … basically because I said I would, […]