Some ramblings from working Step 2:
Look up these words then write what the words mean to you.
- Believe: “Accept something as true, somebody as truthful, have trust.” To me, this means setting aside denial, fear and shame to allow in a “new” reality: that change can happen, growth is possible, happiness is attainable, for me.
- Restore: “Give something back, return to previous condition, return (go back).” To me, this means getting back something that was lost (peace of mind/openness) and returning to a state of hope and joy.
- Sanity: “A state of good mental balance, the condition of being mentally healthy and able to make rational decisions, good sense, reasonableness.” This reminds me of a surfer riding waves with grace, no matter which waves come along. Just being okay, not necessarily flashy, certainly not scared. In balance. In the groove.
What does a Higher Power mean to you?
The path of pure light, from which I came into this life, on which I have never ceased to be, and the purification of which is the purpose of my life. I am here to shine my particular light, to dispel the darkness that my soul took on in entering this world, to support the over-arching path from darkness to light, for the benefit of all beings.
What is my concept of a Power greater than myself?
I believe I am a point of pure light and (mystery) which – as a drop of a seawater contains and is connected to all the oceans and waters and life of the world – is connected to ultimate light and (mystery) which I call God or Higher Power.
How can I focus on using a Higher Power to benefit my recovery?
I try to keep learning and growing, mainly by reading, listening to others, and seeking new ways (such as feelings) to connect. I seek, through meditation and journeying, to deepen this connection. I practice awareness of my thoughts and feelings to notice when they are straying from my true self and into ego.
Has a lack of open-mindedness contributed to my reaching a bottom?
I see it mostly as an abundance of fear, but also a lack of open-mindedness in that I accepted others’ reality even when it didn’t feel right, and I wasn’t open to other ideas – or to the belief that those ideas could work for me. I let myself believe that it really is about the money, the accomplishments, and the admiration of others, on their terms, and not about living my Higher Power’s will.