Missing Something I Don’t Want

Wait, is that right? Can I miss something I don’t want?

Try this: I am in a great relationship. And there are a lot of attractive women in the world. I miss chasing them. And I don’t want to chase them. I want the one I’ve got. Hell, I didn’t even chase them when I wasn’t single.

I miss the idea of chasing them, the supposed freedom it represents, and the possibility of something new and exciting. But what’s real right now is the relationship I’m in, and all the new, exciting things it (and she) brings to me all the time. This fascination with the “other” is a fantasy, an escape, my mind looking for a way out of the present moment and its scary reality.

Take all that away, and I’m a happily coupled guy who also enjoys watching attractive women walk around, even indulges in the occasional sexual fantasy. Nothing wrong with either of those.

As for the “missing” something I never had and don’t want, I think I can let go of that. or at least get some distance from it and see it for what it is: a passing cloud in an otherwise spotless, sunny blue sky.