Inspired, in part, by this interesting post on an otherwise kinda goofy site.
I think what really drives all this frustration for me is the knowledge, deep down, that I am cluttering up my life with tasks and chores and ideals that don’t come from the Source. I keep hearing “Do what’s given you to do, not what you give yourself to do.” This has meaning professionally, of course, like when I say all I want to do is travel, hike and write — but I spend 98% of my time doing other stuff. But it goes deeper than that. If there’s a Big Plan (God’s will) for me, I have a feeling I’m not living it, and that the only reason I’m not is all this clutter I put in the way.
I once had a very powerful, lucid dream in which I had a man locked up in a cage in my basement, and he was begging to be let out. I would tell him I’m going to let him out, and he’d say “You always say that! Please, do it now!” And I’d say you’re right, I will. But then I would switch places in the dream and be the guy in the cage, going crazy to get out. Then I had a very clear, very real sense of being both of them at once, and completely seeing the situation from both perspectives at the same time. It was crazy. And doesn’t take much analysis to figure what it was all about.