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Spiritual Seeker

Apr 14, 2012

Ah, Progress

Kurt, Listened to shows 149-151 tonight, and wanted to say thanks. You got right into my head and shone a positive light in there. What I really connected with was the idea of how a simple life is so much better than what I used to do, and how practicing self-love sometimes just means being […]

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Jan 22, 2012

Back From Retreat

Whew. I just spent three days and nights off the grid, and coming back is a rush. I won’t go into too much about what the retreat was, except that it was all about being alone with me. No phone, no podcasts, no book, no music, certainly no computer. The idea was just to remove […]

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Jan 15, 2012

Moving Through Fear

A while back I had a funny story that I’ve shared in meetings here and there. I had recently broken up with Woman A. At the same time I first met her, I had met Woman B, and I had a crush on her. A knew this … hell, B knew this. I asked her […]

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Aug 02, 2011

A Few Words to a Sponsee

Had some more thoughts on the way home, maybe more about myself than about you, figured I’d share anyway.
So we say things like “I don’t have time to do (step work, meditation, exercise, whatever) because of all this stuff I have to do. And all the stuff I have to do is driving me crazy.” An objective view would be, “Then what is the purpose of all ‘the stuff’?” And we might be able to step back and say, I get busy with all the stuff (or I get loaded, or codependent, or whatever) so that I don’t have to face what is there for me in the spiritual work, exercise, whatever. Because that leads to change, which can hurt or be scary. But staying super busy or loaded or whatever, while stressful, is familiar. We think we can handle it — even as it burns us out and gets in the way of growth.

(more…)

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Jun 09, 2011

An Old Familiar Frustration

Driving home after a pleasant evening with an attractive woman. Ought to be a happy time, or so it seems. And yet there’s regret. Just can’t seem to get out of my head and tell her I like her, that I am attracted to her, that I’d like to kiss her. Same old thing. Determined leaving home, frustrated coming back.

(more…)

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Jan 26, 2011

Thoughts on the Third Step

My experience with the Third Step started with a decision to take the advice of my sponsor and the people in the group. They were in touch with a higher power than I was, since they were sober and I wasn’t. So in those days it was a matter of going to meetings, sharing, hanging out afterwards, going to social events, getting a sponsor, working the steps, and so on — in short, following the suggestions of the program. (more…)

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Jan 11, 2011

Why can’t we let go?

Written to a sponsee:

“The reason you can’t let go of your behaviors and resentments is that they serve a purpose and give you apparent, short-term relief, coupled with a type and level of pain that you are used to, can manage to some extent, and which you have begun to think of as your birthright. Or birthwrong. In the long term you know this isn’t working, but in the short term you have no idea how you can change from a familiar pain to something unknown. That’s where faith comes in; it can act as the bridge beyond all the “yeah-buts” that your mind puts up in defense of the ego — which, ironically, is the source of all your pain.

I say this because it’s true of every human being, not you in particular. Maybe not the Dalai Lama or Jesus.”

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Oct 22, 2010

Missing Something I Don’t Want

Wait, is that right? Can I miss something I don’t want?

Try this: I am in a great relationship. And there are a lot of attractive women in the world. I miss chasing them. And I don’t want to chase them. I want the one I’ve got. Hell, I didn’t even chase them when I wasn’t single. (more…)

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Oct 21, 2010

Composting Character Defects

I love how Caroline Casey talks about composting and insists on positive talk, like “have your back” rather than “hold your feet to the fire.”

I’ve been thinking more about this composting thing with the 6th Step. What if “character assets” are just “character defects” without the ego attached? Here’s a quick try:
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