What am I Supposed to Be Doing?

The Universe tends to sling the same message at me, over and over, from every possible angle, until I get it. Lately, the message has come in a professional context, about how to earn a living from meaningful and satisfying work, from folks like Chris Guillebeau:

The key is that you can’t be passionate about just anything; instead you need to be passionate about something that other people are willing to spend money on.

That makes perfect sense to me. But it only poses a question, really: What am I passionate about that people would be willing to spend money on?

I’ve heard this message so many times that it begins to piss me off. This is how my relationship with the Universe goes: it sends messages, I tell it yes but don’t do anything, so it sends them again, and I ignore them or put them off, so it re-sends with some pain or something, and I complain, then more pain, more complaining, and then the distraction with projects and various forms of “busy-ness.” Then the Universe makes all of those things fall apart because they are Wrong.

Or I medicate the pain, until that doesn’t work anymore. (Once I figure that out, the recovery process begins.)

Sooner or later, we hope, I ask myself, “What is it I need to figure out here, so this pain can stop?”
Right now, with my personal and professional lives — exhausted, broke, discouraged — I am at this “What do I need to do” phase. It sucks getting here, but I’m ready to do something different. And I know that “something” is, once again, figure out what’s my purpose in life (aka God’s will, if you like) and then f—-ing go for it. Identify my gift and start giving it. Let the guy out of the cage.

I just don’t know what the first step is. So I am going to ask you. Whoever you are. I’m asking everybody, starting now.

What do you think “my gift” is? What do I do, or care about, or know about, that you would be willing to spend money on?

I do have some ideas:

Who knows what else might be out there?

What do you think? I’m kind of torn up here.





Paul Gerald

I am the author of several books on hiking, camping, eating breakfast and chilling out. I am also a freelance travel writer, publisher, hiker, and inveterate traveler.