Had some more thoughts on the way home, maybe more about myself than about you, figured I’d share anyway.
So we say things like “I don’t have time to do (step work, meditation, exercise, whatever) because of all this stuff I have to do. And all the stuff I have to do is driving me crazy.” An objective view would be, “Then what is the purpose of all ‘the stuff’?” And we might be able to step back and say, I get busy with all the stuff (or I get loaded, or codependent, or whatever) so that I don’t have to face what is there for me in the spiritual work, exercise, whatever. Because that leads to change, which can hurt or be scary. But staying super busy or loaded or whatever, while stressful, is familiar. We think we can handle it — even as it burns us out and gets in the way of growth.
Make any sense? Sound familiar?
A simple cure is the ol’ “How’s that workin’ for ya” question. In your case, how is filling your life with busy-ness and avoiding amends working? In mine, how is filling my days with tasks while avoiding exercise, meditation and writing working? In my case, not so great — and yet it’s hard to make that change, because I let the tasks define me. But I am who I am, not what I do.